now we know why javert spends so much time looking at the stars
Falling from grace…
I write a lot of really weird poems lately…
You remind me of the babe…
The babe with the power…
The power of voodoo
HEY HEY HEY HEYYYYYYYY MY FAVORITE QUEER DRUNK ASSHOLE POET TURNED 450 TODAY (and let me tell you, there is a lot of competition for the title “favorite queer drunk asshole poet”)
BUT as we all know, there is some controversy over who ACTUALLY wrote shakespeare’s plays!
so in order to mark this SERIOUS and LEGITIMATE issue, i have compiled the most likely theories in this comprehensive list:
- in julius caesar, cassius says, “this is my birthday; on this very day cassius was born.” on that same day, cassius DIES. guess who else was not only born on april 23, but died april 23?? that’s right, shakespeare. english playwright? or ancient roman ghost bent on revenge? YOU BE THE JUDGE.
- shakespeare married a woman called anne hathaway. BATMAN ALSO MARRIED ANNE HATHAWAY. have you ever seen shakespeare and batman in the same place at the same time??????
- lived in london? totally encountered prostitutes several times? probably spoke english? william shakespeare……. or JACK THE RIPPER
- uh, excuse me, an uneducated glovemaker’s son couldn’t possibly have written the 38 works of art attributed to shakespeare. please consider instead this picture of a cat pushing another cat in a shopping cart. you’re welcome.
- ””“”“”“”“”“president obama????”“”“”“”“” more like PRESIDENT WILLIAMSHAKESPOBAMA. wake UP, america
- ME I’M WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE I HAVE BEEN SHAKESPEARE ALL ALONG AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA YOU FOOLS YOU IGNORANT FOOLS
hey everyone !
So my mom’s been feeling really down lately and i’m really hoping you guys can help me try to make her feel better.
She cosplays the cabbage merchant from avatar and she’s often self conscious about leaving the hotel room at cons, so i’m hoping you can help me make her popular on tumblr. she’s really cute and sweet and she worked so hard on this cosplay! she even carries around real cabbages please give her love ok
I met her at the last con I went to! She’s awesome :)
IM MAKING A PIE AND I ACCIDENTALLY PUT IODINE IN IT INSTEAD OF VANILLA EXTRACT
I ALMOST FED THIS PIE TO MY FAMILY
I WAS GOING TO FEED THIS PIE TO MY CLASSMATES
I WAS ABOUT TO MURDER PEOPLE THROUGH PIE
LIKE LOOK AT THIS FUCKING PIE
DOESNT IT LOOK NICE
DONT YOU WANT TO EAT IT
TOO FUCKING BAD ITS POISONOUS YOU’LL DIE
HOW DO YOU MIX UP IODINE AND VANILLA EXTRACT
WHY DO YOU HAVE IODINE IN THE KITCHEN
WHY DO YOU HAVE IT AT ALL